Friday, May 16, 2008
okay i've gladly got over it
well, sort of.
i'm really sorry to all those people (esp angelique) whom i affected by my moods and behavior these few days, or should i say, since i stepped into this school.
i really dint know myself at all and i just could not see my flaws, and how i treat the people around me and my insensitivity and all that. i am really sorry to those who i upsetted/angered without me knowing.
from today onwards, i promise that i will learn to think before i speak and reflect on myself better by how i treat people.
i will really try.
i have been such a complete coward, choosing to run away from my problems so drastically. i was not thinking at all i swear. i will change, not to be someone who people think can lead or something, but to change so that i can become a better person overall.
my thoughts are just about cleared right now, and thank you, really thanks loads to all the people who gave me support in one way or another in my quest to change for the better.
especially hillary,
hillary, if you are reading this, i want to tell you that you have been a really good friend to me. you inspired me and spent time with me to teach me what is really important in life, and made me reflect on my flaws. your frankness really helped, and thank you for listening to me. i know i do not really know you well, and vice versa, and the mere fact that you even bothered to give me a lesson in life skills really touched me (:
especially mel,
just to get this out there, you are the bestest friend someone can get you know. thank you, really for staying by me when i dont even know which track of my life am i on, thank you for listening to me cry and consoling me. i promise you that i am not going to let my feelings overcome me and strain our friendship. :D
especially moira,
for simply respecting me for who i am and consoling me when you know i was really upset then. your words really touched me when i felt really lost about myself and you helped me up on my feet again.
and all the others who helped me or talked to me in some way or another, thank you :D
;i'm starting to get my life back on track now
alright enough with those mumbo jumbo emotional stuff yeah (:
today's friday, officially the
last study lesson day of the term
having mixed feelings right now,
first, i am probably going to miss mr koh cause today's his last lesson and it is real ironic especially how much i hated him for the first few weeks and giving him attitude when i know its wrong and all that. he is really nice, and he prepares revision exercises for us before a test. looking back, i know i was really mean for judging him so quickly and cursing him and all that, because he knew it, and not only he did not hate me/be biased against me and all that, he actually treated me really nicely and carefully explained all the mathematical concepts as well as he can although it sometimes did not work and stuff like that. i just really feel bad for being so mean to him during the first few weeks ): hope he will understand and i guess although he is not a very good teacher, he was really nice to all of us.
;i'll be looking forward to mrs yeo though, havent seen her in 10+ weeks
secondly, its so sad that mr teoh is leaving. i mean, he is such an inspiring person who aims to inspire people and touch their hearts through teaching. it was this main reason why he chose to quit researching (and earning more) to come to st nicks to inspire us. thats why he said it would break his heart really badly if we told him the only thing we learnt from his lessons were chemistry. other teachers would probably be really elated if they heard it other than
your lessons were real boring but i told you, mr teoh is different. he sure inspired me real loads. all his extra talks about living life to the fullest and treasuring every second really made an impact, and i will really be very sad if he leaves st nicks and stuff and wont be able to touch our lives as he touched ours this 10 weeks any more next year. he would move on to touch more people's life, and i hope he would be able to. he is such a great teacher; i mean no other teacher would stay up to the wee hours to make a website full of his OWN notes and chem practices for our use. this is just so noble. i guess for some average teacher, he/she will not even bother to make his/her OWN chem practical worksheets just for us to revise and experiment out of the box from the measly 5 school prepared experiments, or set chemistry notes for us to study. let this be a tribute to him :D
thirdly, i wont be sitting beside angelique or probably never near her ever again. it was really fun sitting with her, despite all our occassional fights and rants and cold wars. if she gets into VJC, i will probably never see her in st nicks ever again. angelique is such fun, we laughed, we talked, we rushed homework, we sweared over lousy grades and the likes. coming to think about it, i remember that i would get angry when angelique pointed out to me really frank things. she was telling me that i should not cheat in tingxie cause its really wrong and i would get angry at her. i mean, she is right, and she tried to tell me. i really appreciate her for all she have done as my term 2 partner (:
;i'll really miss her man, but is super curious to know who my term 3 partner will be
fourthly, there will finally be some time to RELAX (well we need it sooooo much) for 1 month. we'd better NOT get anymore homework if not its going to be so FUN. yeah right, unless you could spell 'fun' as fun in funeral. or hor fun or something, but it doesent signify anything, doesent it, hor fun. i am just so looking forward to the june holidays. i mean although genting is only a mere 3 days IN WHICH i am bringing my chinese homework to do on the coach there and back and probably the hotel room, at least i get time off to get a damn break for a couple of hours. you know i found out in singapore you dont actually get a couple of hours off to rest, unless you could count packing your files rest or something but anyway its still making you look at all your past failed-really-badly papers and in the end you get more stressed. oh and just got reminded. i dont actually look forward to june CAUSE after june which is going to fly-jet past you its going to be JULY. which reminds me of drama practical which we have to perfect it BEFORE term 3 so which MEANS we have to meet up in the june HOLIDAYS. you know its so comforting to know that holidays is not counted as holidays anymore and we to rehearse for dramaprac AND prepare for individual grading AND the horrendously LONG script 'birds on a feather' AND WRITTEN EXAM. it doesent even sound as easy as it looks. structured questions. like what structured questions its going to have, "Q1. write at the line below, what mr a. wong taught last year", "Q2. fill in the blanks with drama conventions", "Q3. Physical Theatre's father is _______ and write his autobibliography down in the space provided". ?!?!?!??!?! i dont actually pay THAT much attention so i would actually go count my lucky stars if i knew who was jerzy grotoski. which reminds me (and stressing me out), that our sec three drama seniors are actually slaving their days away with greek gods. alright and BIRDS OF A FEATHER arnt one page or one scene. ITS A FREAKING WHOLE PLAY with BIRDS. with ridiculous names like proudnest and gillifeather whatnot. but thats due term 4 and you know what? after june comes term 3 and 10 weeks later its performance date.
there's so many things, but i guess you wont actually want to read things that are as long as essays and look like instructions (quotes M.Chongster) of those graded assignments.
alright so lets move on to replies to tags folks,
Ralene: YOU ARE FEELING RANDOM OR WHAT! spamming's a way to destress? I THINK I SHOULD TRY.
Mel: i not stupid! :D
Nicole: what mad! ITS COMMON SENSE TO TELL THE TRUTH!
Christine: no, my neck hates me more!
Weiqing: thanks! :D really we matured from last year? well, drama module this year is more fun than last year :D YEAH thanks thanks for trip sci good wishes, but gloria said its going to be really stressful right? YES GOOD I BOOK YOUR TICKETS FIRST AH! (dont tell anyone okay!)
;JOLYNEEEE!.
8:20 PM
